Non-Match Promos

[Yokozuna]

NGW.com exclusive

Major Changes in NGW staff:

Jim Ross has been released from his contract, as has Josh Matthews and Brooklyn Brawler. They left on ammicable terms, and NGW hope them the best in their careers.

This has obviously caused great changes in NGW's broadcastteams. Given the situation, Rikishi Fatu and Stevie Richards have chosen their own broadcast teams.

Stevie Richards:Hello, this is Stevie, but you already knew that. the new broadcast team on Affliction will be Joey Styles on play by play, and on color commentary will be none other than my good friend Tommy Dreamer.... Yeah, I'm giving my friends jobs, don't like it? Too bad.

Rikishi: Sorry to the NGW Reality, Stevie's apparently off the meds again. Rage's new broadcast team wil conisist of JBL retaining his job as color commentator and joining him will be Todd Grisham (yeah, Todd, finally getting that promotion) also, as an additional color commentator, I have added the legendary Stevie Ray. Doing the backstage interviewing for both shows will be Maria Kaenellis and because I have an odd sense of humor, Santino Marella.

The NGW staff and fans are all pleased at the decisions made by the GMs and also,Mr. Dibiase has made another landmark decision in professional wrestling. Starting this week, NGW will add another show: NGW Obsession, which will feature exclusively the Vixens of NGW. And, furthuremore, Dibiase has chosen as the GM of Obsession a woman who knows the ins and outs of the wrestling industry.

Jazz: Hello, NGW, as the new GM of Obsession, I look forward in moving women's professional wrestling into the future where we can be seen as athletes, and not as mere sex symbols. Manning our broadcast team will be Theodore Long on play by play and on color commentary and on play-by-play we wil have Lita.


With these changes to NGW, we here in cooporate feel the need to specify a few rule changes, listed numerically.

1. The NGW Extreme title will be contested futhurmore under no-DQ matches

2. If any non-wrestlers who are known assicoates of NGW wrestlers, make an attempt to attack any other members of NGW, this will cause the performer they are associated with to be immediately suspended.

3. In a similar vein, if there is any nterference in matches, the one who interferes will be fined, suspended or both.

This concludes this announcement from NGW coorperate.

[nWo4Life]

Nero??

Nero is seen sitting in what appears to be a coffee shop with Misfit Kim and Sephora.

MisfitKim: I just don’t understand Nero! We had so much invested in P.A!

She continues to yell at him. He is clearly not paying attention, he looks at the waitress

Nero: I said… two lumps of sugah…

Misfitkim: NERO!!! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?!?

He turns around and says: actually no.

Misfitkim: UGHHH! YOU PAY ME FOR MY…

Nero: Services??

Misfitkim: NO MY…

Santino Marella walks by, Nero stands up

Nero: SANTINO!

Santino: Well… if it isn’t Bobba de Marley…

Nero looks like huh? : Da names Nero

Santino: Zero… Negro… whatever... Santino walks off

Nero: Tell Santina I said what up

Santino stops and looks appalled

Nero: Dis tea is da bizness.

Sephora: Ya know Nero, Kim is right… We had a family with in P.A…

Nero stands up and slams his hand on the table knocking it over.

I’m TIRED OF YA B!TCHIN’!!! Jordan ‘as no Morals, no charactah! I REFUSE TO BE IN Da MIST OF PEOPLE LIKE 'IM. I’m NERO NOT ZION!!! IM GOIN TA PUT BACK TOGETHER Da PIECES 'E 'AS TORN APART… IN DIS COMPANY AND IN MY COMPANY. IF YOU TWO DON’T LIKE DAT… EAT A FAT D!CK!!!

He walks out.

Santino: what’s wrong with your male friend Utopia?

Sephora: My name is Sephora @SSHOLE! Calm down Phory… Be a nice girl… you’re not mean anymore…

MisfitKim: Well I am!

She slaps Santino on the cheek and then runs out after Nero.

Santino: Damn it… why did Stan, just slap me?

Sephora: KIM!!!

Santino: Oh she looked like a him... except for those dirty pillows

Sephora Throws two twenties in the mess to pay for their items and walks out the coffee shop.
The scene fades to black

[Sybaku]

Jack Flag is shown on camera post match destroying his locker room, he eventually notices the cameraman and turns ripping the camera from his hands and pulling it up to his face.

Flag- What did I say Nova!, WHAT DID I SAY!, You screwed me you son of a b**ch, and I warned you I told you what will happen, you think what I did to Meanie wasn't pleasant, you have no idea what is coming your way, I saw what Raven did, Stevie has lost the control he just gained, and like a vulture to Raven's kill I am going to destroy any remains of the B.W.O. ITS SOMETHING YOU CAN BELIEVE IN!!!!

Flag throws the camera to the ground and it blacks out.

[Yokozuna]

(Nova is seen limping back stage, and a man screaming with a british accent is heard, he dives behind soem boxes, adn Stevie Richards walks gamelyout of a medics room, he i smet face to face by Jack FLag)

Flag: WHERE THE *CK IS HE!?

Stevie: Calm down Jack, Nova is....

Flag: I DON'T CARE! I WANT THAT JACKASS!

Stevie: (steps closer to Flag) You seem to forget who you're talking to, don't cross me boy, or I will make your life hell.

(Flag looks p*ssed still, but steps to the side and lets Stevie pass. Flag walks on too, adn Nova peaks his head out from behind the boxes, Santino's head pops out behind his)

Santino: Whata we doin?

Nova: (Screams and runs off)

Santino: Whata strahnge gui.

(He walks off too)

[nWo4Life]

Da' Misfits r baa,aack

The scene starts with Phory sitting in her well known Hollywood high chair. She has on a P.A shirt with some black training pants.

Sephora: The inevitable has happened; dissention in the ranks, deception behind every corner, people wanting spots they can’t have, two, of the biggest egos trying to coincide, the belief of a dream that shatters into a nightmare, and the Misfits still up roar.

*The few fans with Misfit Inc shirts on start to scream*

Our pathetic attempt to bring some appeal to the meaningless Planet Jordan and their leader, Version Retard. Failed miserably.

She stands up and hits herself upside the head.

PHORY! Remember, BE NICE! SH!T! *She looks into the camera seductively and speaks* I’m just so good at being bad. She then rips the shirt off and exposes her black Misfit Inc bikini straps. She also pulls forward on the pants that unsnap on the sides. This exposes her black boy shorts, fish nets, and ankle high pumps.

If you haven’t noticed! It’s time for a f*cking change around HERE! DAMNIT, less swear, more excitement.

Scene beeps like it’s been edited.

If you haven’t noticed! It’s time for a CHANGE—she bust up laughing.
What’s my line?

Direct: Sephora says “It’s time for a change around HERE!

Sephora: You broke my momentum Charlie. She giggles, clears her throat and starts again.If you haven’t noticed. BLAH!

Everybody on set starts laughing

I’m sorry I had to do that, is was great.

Nero walks from behind the camera with tears from laughter in his eyes

Nero: Don’t mind ‘er, she’s loco in da cabasa

*beep*

She looks and starts laughing

*beep*

If you haven’t noticed! It’s time for a CHANGE AROUND ‘ERE! I’ve been whoopin’ you Jabronees limb for limb, tooth for tooth. *she sings* Every since my baby left me, a little time ago, I packed my bag and carried on, right to the, smackdown hotel * she laughs.

*beep*

If you haven’t noticed! It’s time for a CHANGE AROUND ‘ERE! NO MORE P.A! NO MORE struggle for POWER! ONLY THE GODDESS, & DA G.O.A.T!! The Future Vixen's Champion, and the Future NGW HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORRRLLLD!

Nero: BLAH!

Sephora: You’ve see good! BUT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN GREAT.

Nero *sings: DA MISFITS WILL PERSIST INTO DOMINATE! If you blink one time, den you gwan miss.

Sephora: The outcome deadly, from a blissful * she blows a kiss at the camera*

Nero: BLAH!

Sephora kisses her two fingers and pats her butt. As the scene fades out Sephora screams: MISFITS STAND UP!!

[Yokozuna]

(a special announcement from NGW.com)

(Rikishi's face appears on the screen in an ampty arena, the camera pans out to show poles tied to the turnbuckles w/ a briedfcase suspended from each, on the top of those polesare chains that cris cross over the center of the ring, and 20 feet in the air, hanging by those chains is a final briefcase)

Rikishi: Supreme Showdown, the biggest show of the year in NGW,and the place to unveil a new matchtype invented by Stevie and myself, the ten men in this ring will battle to get one of these briefcases each, and the man whose feet touches outside of the ring will be the holder of that briefcase. this match dosen't end until all five briefcases are out of the ring and in the posession of one of our wretlers.

Inside those briefcases are the real point of the press your luck match.
In one an Extreme title shot, in another an anarchy title shot, in another, a shto at the tag titles with a partner of your choice, and in another... a shot at the world heavyweight title. These shots can be cashed in at any time, you will merely have to let me know and it will happen.

However, in that final briefcase will unfortunately be a two week suspension.

That's the way this match works, adn that's why we call it the Test your Luck battle royall. Good luck to all of you involved.

[Sybaku]

Flag is shown backstage posing with his briefcase a huge smile is on his face, he also has several scantily clad women with him

Flag- This right here means I will be your new champion, before too long I will pop open this case unveil my contract for a World Title Shot cash it on the little Mexican piece of human feces Mysterio and be your new Champion, Its Something You Can Bel-

One of the women whispers in Flag's ear

Flag- What! Of course its the world title shot, you know me baby I'm always getting lucky.

Another women whispers something that can be roughly heard as containing the words small and too quick, the women all giggle and Flag throws a fit as the screen fades too black.

[nWo4Life]

The scene starts in the Hallway of the arena. Singing is heard from down the hall

"If we could party all nite, and sleep all day, and throw all of my problems away. MY LIFE WOULD BE EASSSSSY, MY LIFE WOULD BE EEEEESAAAYY!"

Nero has Sephora sitting on his shoulders while he is walking down the hallway. Misfit Kim is walking right next to them.

Misfit Kim: I would drink and go out out with my crew party party all the time yep, that's what I do mac models, pop bottles live life like a Sheik

Sephora: PARTY!

Misfit Kim: Monday through Sunday, everyday of the week

All of them: High Octane life in the fast lane zoom,

Nero: And da joint dat pop til' mi walk in da room

All of them: And the DJ's bumpin' my favorite tune, and it's shakin' up the speakers like: BOOM,BOOM, BOOM!

They all laugh

Misfit Kim: That is my favorite song!

Sephora: It's one of mines

Mean Gene walks in front of the camera

Gene: I'm here with Misfit Inc, who appear to be celebrating their many victories from tonight. Sephora how does it feel to be the Vixen's Showdown winner, and the number one contender.

Sephora: Gene! It freaking rocks! WHOOAAAH

Nero throws her up in the air and catches her and puts her on the ground

Gene: G.O.A.T, how does it feel knowing you where one of the best in the show tonight, and what of the case?

Nero: GENE! Dis possibly da best day of young Nero's life. Don't know what we gwan find when dey unlock dis case. But hopefully it be a title shot. I 'ave respect fa Rey but friendship stops when dat bell rings. But nuff bout dat. It's party time. I got 2 young ladies 'ere dat will find out 2 nite why dey call me da G.O.A.T! BLAH!

Misfit Kim: OHHHH Nero you're so bad. She says as she bites on her finger.

Sephora jumps on his back and they walk down the hall.

Gene: Well there you have it folks-

Misfit Kim: Gene I forgot to say. THIS SH!T AIN'T FOR-

Sephora: KIM! We are not apart of that group anymore silly *she yells from down the hall

Misfit Kim blushes: Oh, I'm sorry Cheers!

Kim kisses Gene on the cheek and runs down the hall

Kim: WAIT for me guys! We're going to have a long night YEAHHHH!!!

Gene smiles as the scene fades out

[Yokozuna]

Aftershock SS:

(Rikishi is setting in his office w/ hi shead wrapped, he begins talking to his camera)

Kishi: We at NGW hope you all enjoyed Supreme Showdown, and congratulations to all the competitors for putting on a hell of a show. As far as Raven is concerned, don't worry, he's gonna have his own problems soon enough. As far as Stevie's dubious absence when Raven began attacking Rey again, he and I will most deffinitely speak about that.

But, enough of that for now, because I have some very good news, because shortly one of the most beloved competitors in NGW history will be re-debuting here, some call him the master of gravity, others call him the comander of chaos, that's right, Kevin Kaos will re retuning to to fulltime in ring competition very soon. As excited as this no doubt makes you, we ask that you al.....

(The door kicks open, and a familliar voice is heard)

???: WELL, WELL, WELL, if it isn't the damn handsome man...

Kishi: Gertner?

(the camera pans around to show Joel GErtner standing in the doorway, adjusting his trademark neckbrace)

Joel: Yes, it is I, Joel "The man who always fine, driving at sixty....

Kishi: NO! Family, show...what the hell do you want?

JoeL: I have come to inform you, and indeed all of NGW that something is coming, something like the world has never seen, but very much like what you've seen before.

Kishi: Let me guess, RVD? Rhino? Sabu?

Joel: Now, Fatu, you can't expect me to give out that kind of information. What I will tell you is that to assemble what is coming, I will travel to all corners of the globe to assemble a force unlike anything you've ever seen.

(Gerter walks out as Kishi stares after him, confused)

[nWo4Life]

The screen cuts black then green and yellow bleed into the screen making the Jamaican flag. The screen becomes visible, showing a man sitting in a chair that is facing the wall. On this wall is a Big Misfit Inc Flag spray painted, and appears to be still wet.

The man begins to turn around and is met by a super kick. His Dread wig flies in the air as the camera pans to the man that kicked him.

Nero: Dats what dey want! FAST paced action. Emotions, feelin’s… Da world wants drama. BLAH! So da G.O.A.T give ya drama. BLA-

Director: CUT!

Nero: …

Director: That wasn’t the energy we want. High energy ta make da world go BLAH!

Nero: Dats what cha get! I’m not goin’ any- *thinks* F*CK ya MON! Role camera!

I’m still ‘ere just tuned in ta Christian and Nite’s Promo… I don’t like Christian dat much Mon, but I was rollin’ from da interaction between Infinite C and Nite Bwoy!

Da Miz-Marc-

Director: TRADEMARC!

*he pauses from being interrupted*

No one gives damn bout deir name MON! One more time, ya gwan need new job MON! Da Awesome clan ‘ave trouble dis week, me tink deir win streak stop now! Avery baby, what gwan on gurl in ya little head? Ya make me tink weird taught when me watch ya on screen. Dis broad bananas, me tink she be loco. And loco gurls know how ta please da young one. *camera drops down about a foot and 1/2 and focuses on his crotch area*
Dats not my face MON! *grins, camera pans back up. He symbols and lip syncs the words “CALL ME”*

He looks to da right

AYE! Da F*CK! Ya doin’ MON?

The camera pans to see a masked man trying to open up Nero’s case. He then grabs it and runs away.

DA F*CK is dat mudda’f*ckah?

Nero runs after him.

After about 10 feet the man is tripped by Misfit Kim, who takes the case away from him and bashes him in the back of his head. The camera man runs over to see the masked man.

They begin to pull his mask off and the scene is interrupted by the Misfit Inc flag. Followed by the words “To be continued… “