BATISTA JOKE
Name
Batista
Real Name
David Bautista
Date of Birth
January 18, 1969
Place of Birth
...
Hometown
...
Debut
1997
Batista

Batista is scheduled to make his WWE return tonight at Monday Night Raw, and it has now been confirmed that he is indeed backstage at the event. Earlier today, he joked about how he should have returned at Summerslam instead of the Royal Rumble because of the cold weather in Ohio.

January 20, 2014
Jesse Neal
"It is funny how people make fun about real jobs and wrestlers. We are human, too. I have a family to provide for. So, yes, I manned up and provide. The biggest joke of all is I get paid way more at Walmart than I ever did in TNA and on time. What a waste of time. Print that. Don't think that this is bitterness. I'm not on their show any more. Remember, I left them. They didn't leave me." - Jesse Neal talks about his new job in life
April 17, 2014
Dean Ambrose
"You know what, I tell him this and we joke about it, but the smartest thing WWE did was put him with me and Dean Ambrose. Because when we met him, he started from scratch. Granted he's got a whole family history in the wrestling business, but he's a football player. He's an athlete and he's coachable, but like he gets it. Like he got it quick and he understood right away what we were doing. I think putting him with myself and Ambrose, who had the wealth of experience and the all the knowledge and traveling the road. We're in a car all the time, we're on the planes together, we're having the matches together. He was just able to soak up that information we were giving out like a sponge and you can see the difference. He was great when we came in, but look at him now and he's a completely different performer. It was the smartest thing they ever did, putting him with us." - Seth Rollins discussing the backstage reason why Roman Reigns was placed with the Shield
April 6, 2014
Kevin Nash
Since Lita and Mr T went especially long in their segments, it was very obvious to many that Scott Hall had to rush through his hall of fame induction speech. WWE officials were very concerned backstage at the event, and they informed Hall of the situation. That was the reason why Kevin Nash made his joke onstage about having to rush through things.
April 5, 2014
Fandango
As an April Fool's Day joke, WWE promoted that they have just released photos for the steamiest edition of Day Off, which normally features divas look sexy and comfortable outside of the arena. Instead, they opted to utilize Fandango, and this picture of him is hilarious.
April 1, 2014
Davey Richards
"We're not talking. We're not on good terms. I have no respect for them whatsoever. I strongly dislike management there like with the exception of Jeff Jones who is a great guy. But the booker (Hunter Johnson) is completely inadequate at his job and he got his job more for being spineless than being talented. And the owner (Joe Koff) is even worse, he could care less about wrestling. He just wants to do television. To me, it's just not something I agree with but I'm not there anymore and they do their own thing. And for the talent and the fans I wish them nothing but the best of luck. That company is in business not because of stellar booking and stellar management. They're in business still because they'they're spineless. The talent there is phenomenal. They're top notch and great. But the management from the booker to the owner it's definitely shut up and do what you're told and drink the Kool-aid. I made a joke when I was there I called it Jim Jones wrestling. Just shut up and drink the Kool-aid and do your job. In private, people are going this sucks this sucks this sucks and I'm the one who came out and said this is terrible. I worked for that company and gave them everything I had for seven years. I think I earned my right to an opinion. Once that got out, it was like you're going against the stream? You're not here to have an opinion, just shut up and do your job and get your paycheck. I'm sure you can find someone else to do that for a lot less money than what you're paying me so I'm just going to go about my way. Best decision I ever made and I have no desire to go back, ever." - Davey Richards talks about the backstage politics in ROH
March 8, 2014
Alpha Female
Some cruel fans on Twitter have been making jokes towards Alpha Female, who recently made her debut on Impact Wrestling, stating that she is actual Rob Terry with a sex change. The new TNA star is taking the joke well by acknowledging it on her social media account and even stating that she found it humorous.
February 18, 2014
Antonio Cesaro
A big fuss was made by wrestling fans when WWE changed the names of Antonio Cesaro and Big E Langston this past week, so Joey Styles went on Twitter to post this joke about the situation.
February 17, 2014
Chris Sabin
While they're very much still a couple in real life, Chris Sabin is working a story line on Impact Wrestling where he and Velvet Sky have broken up. After their recent match, the former world heavyweight champion took to Twitter to post this joke about domestic abuse.
February 16, 2014
Austin Aries
It appears that Austin Aries and Gail Kim are now traveling buddies. The former world heavyweight champion made a joke about it on his Twitter account. The two of them are working a couple of live events in Texas for TNA this weekend.
February 16, 2014
Big E Langston
Always quick with the wit and sense of humor, Big E Langston took to Twitter to joke about the name change that WWE has done for him. He posted this message about selling his last name, and he even throws in a little racial humor as well.
February 14, 2014
Jake Roberts
On Twitter, Jake Roberts posted this special message to congratulate Lita on joining him in the hall of fame at Wrestlemania 30 this year. The legendary WWE star even included a little joke about the two of them as well.
February 13, 2014
Big E Langston
Those that have followed Big E Langston on Twitter already know just how much of a personality that he has. The WWE Intercontinental Champion displayed his sense of humor recently when he posted this joke about how he would be releasing a rap album whenever he could no longer make money in wrestling.
February 10, 2014
CM Punk

On Twitter, Mick Foley made a joke to fans who are thinking about going to one of his comedy shows. The former WWE star stated that they were allowed to bring CM Punk signs to his events, which is basically mocking the company for confiscating signs from fans in support of Punk.

February 4, 2014
Al Snow

"It's pretty ballsy of TLC to still call itself The Learning Channel."

January 3, 2014
Al Snow

"It makes me a little sad that shaking a vending machine might be the closest I ever come to fighting a robot."

January 2, 2014
Al Snow

"How long does a person have to stop having sex before they’re approved to buy a minivan?"

January 1, 2014
Randy Orton
For the longest time there, MVP was the longest reigning WWE United States Heavyweight Champion, but that mark looks to be broken soon if Dean Ambrose can hold on to the belt a little while longer. The Shield member rarely defends the belt, but WWE could opt to include it in the story line against Triple H, Randy Orton and Batista.
April 18, 2014
Randy Orton
Even though the stable was just reunited, it appears that WWE is already planting seeds for an eventual breakup between Triple H, Batista and Randy Orton. Through an online poll, the company has been asking fans which of the three is the most dominant. The belief is that WWE will go with a story line where egos break apart the trio like it did several years back.
April 18, 2014
Seth Rollins
Even though Daniel Bryan and John Cena are both expected to work their respective matches at the pay per view, Extreme Rules 2014 will be built around a huge six man tag team match featuring Batista, Triple H, Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. WWE might even have Evolution and Shield closing out the show as well.
April 17, 2014
Batista
Even though he is one of the more known performers in the company, WWE is allowing Batista to skip out on the Saudi Arabia tour taking place this week. The belief when the former world heavyweight champion was brought back was that he would help with global marketing due to his history in the company and being a movie star.
April 16, 2014
Triple H
Since he was on such a roll, many wondered if Daniel Bryan was actually going to be given time off after his wedding to Brie Bella to enjoy his honeymoon. The WWE champion was not on Monday Night Raw this week, and there are rumors that the Total Divas camera crew were with him on his break. WWE filled in his spot by having Triple H, Batista and Randy Orton reforming Evolution.
April 16, 2014
Kane
After beating Triple H, Randy Orton and Batista at Wrestlemania 30 for the heavyweight championship, a lot of fans wondered who WWE will choose to work with Bryan in his first month as champion. As of right now, it looks like management is leaning heavily towards Kane to be his first major opponent. The two are expected to work Extreme Rules 2014 together.
April 15, 2014
Randy Orton
A video from Monday Night Raw of the Shield rescuing new WWE champion Daniel Bryan from Triple H, Kane, Randy Orton and Batista. This is essentially the face turn of Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins.
April 11, 2014
Randy Orton
At Wrestlemania 30, Daniel Bryan wore a pair of furry boats for his matches against Triple H, Randy Orton and Batista that evening. He revealed through WWE.com that the boats were a tribute to Bruiser Brody, a performer from the 1980s that he greatly admires. Interestingly enough, Brody himself also sported a memorable beard in the ring.
April 9, 2014
Randy Orton
As seen on Monday Night Raw this week, WWE is teasing the fans with a potential feud between the Shield and Evolution. There are talks that Batista, Randy Orton, Triple H, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins could be utilized in a big main event match at Extreme Rules 2014. WWE still has to decide on what to do with Daniel Bryan at the pay per view, though.
April 9, 2014
Randy Orton
After he defeated Randy Orton and Batista in the main event of Wrestlemania 30, Daniel Bryan was spotted in the ring celebrating with a woman and a little girl. A lot of WWE fans were immediately intrigued as to who they were, as Bryan is romantically linked to Brie Bella. It has now been revealed that the woman was his sister, and the little girl was his niece.
April 7, 2014
Rock
Considering how incredible the show was, WWE should not have any issues with coming up with Wrestlemania 30 highlights to show on Monday Night Raw this week. Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, Rock, Daniel Bryan, Triple H, Batista, John Cena, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston, Big Show and Antonio Cesaro provided plenty of memorable Wrestlemania moments.
April 7, 2014
Daniel Bryan
Despite interference from Stephanie McMahon and Triple H in the main event of Wrestlemania 30, Daniel Bryan was able to defy the odds by beating both Randy Orton and Batista to become the new WWE Heavyweight Champion. He took quite a beating in the match before finally locking Batista into his Yes Lock for the submission victory. Bryan celebrated in the ring afterwards.
April 6, 2014
Triple H
In the opening match at Wrestlemania 30, Daniel Bryan shocked the world by cleaning defeating Triple H. He won via pin fall after a running knee. Afterwards, HHH and Stephanie McMahon attacked Bryan, who is heading into the main event of Wrestlemania to challenge Randy Orton and Batista for the WWE heavyweight championship.
April 6, 2014
Batista
In a rather interesting move, WWE is now selling the skinny jeans that Batista ripped during Monday Night Raw last month. It is being sold on their auction website, and the price has climbed up to $260. Batista has been the butt of jokes backstage by other performers for his choice of clothing since making his return to WWE earlier in the year.
April 5, 2014
Triple H
While he is still viewed as the top star in the company, John Cena will have plenty of time to watch the second half of Wrestlemania 30, as the former world heavyweight champion is scheduled to work against Bray Wyatt in the middle of the show. They're booked behind Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton, Triple H and Daniel Bryan right now.
April 5, 2014
Daniel Bryan
A video of a simulated match on the WWE 2K14 video game featuring Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan and Batista fighting for the heavyweight championship at Wrestlemania 30.
April 5, 2014
Batista
"They told me that I was going to come back and be this huge babyface. I said, 'no, it's not going to work.' They said, 'no way, they're dying for you to come back.' I said, 'that's going to last two minutes, just watch.' And sure enough it did." - Batista discusses heel turn
April 5, 2014
Batista
"They used to want to interact with the show, but now the crowd almost wants to be the show. Well, if you want to be the show, take your ass to wrestling school, just like I did, just like everybody else here who is bust their asses and actually become part of the show! Don't just sit in the audience and try to randomly steal the show." - Batista tells the critical fans what to do
April 5, 2014
Batista
A video of Batista giving a speech at the Wrestlemania 30 press conference. Some buzz was made about this segment, as some feel that the former world heavyweight champion and star of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie went off script to mock his critics.
April 3, 2014
Sheamus
While management still has not completely decided on the main event finish at Wrestlemania 30, there are rumors already floating around that Batista is being moved into a feud against Sheamus after this. Aside from being a fresh feud, management views it as a possible way to give some momentum to Sheamus, who has been floundering since making his return to WWE from injury.
April 3, 2014